Not content with inflicting my own cockeyed tat on the world, I’ve taken it upon myself to recruit other internet-enabled ne’er-do-wells and make real their awful machinations through the medium of mugs. In this new and frankly horrific venture, I’ll be
blagging asking various guttmensches who make ace stuff that fits with the ambient daftness of all my cobblers to get on board so that we may terrorise you all ceramically.
Behold, those foolish enough to sign up so far:
By day, Sarah Barnard bothers penguins, explorers-of-yore and all things polar with her renowned watercolours and sketches. If it’s icy and some grizzly Edwardian dude has lost toes there, she’s all over it.
And yet – AND YET! – by night, she swaps the frozen wastes for a vat of gin and the opportunity to scrawl joyous platitudes on kitchenware.
NB: Sarah Barnard is not to be confused with the eponymous castle of scandalous repute.
North or Nowt
He prints! He makes gig posters! He prints! He does these cool little scratch card things! He prints! He’s dead good at slamming images together! He prints! He lives down the road from me! He prints! And now he’s been strongarmed into this shonky enterprise! That’s right, boys and girls – it’s Mike from North or Nowt!
Did I mention that he prints?
Known far and wide for her bright red nose and deeply troubling lower set of strangely undulating teeth, Pilfered is the go-to lass for high-effort roflfodder, all rendered in INTENSELY VIVID COLOUR. And look at her now – reduced to slaving in the mug mines of Loudribs Industries. Oh how the mighty have fallen!
Who is Lady Turkeyneck? An out-of-proportion bird of limited culinary value with a fancy hat? A figment of our fevered collective imaginations? Or a genuinely successful artist who we forced to adopt a ridiculous pseudonym as a) my poor mug machine wouldn’t be able to cope with the demand if they used their real name and b) the fragile egos of the rest of us Mug Schlubs wouldn’t be able to deal with the wild disparity in sales between them and us?
Do you have suitably daft stuff that you think could find a place in this burgeoning empire of mugs? Drop me an line!